Gone Away
by one winged nightmare
Summary: A broken hero tries to cope with the greatest loss of her life. A short one shot inspired by the song of the same name by Five Finger Death Punch. Rated for Character death.


Gone Away

I never realized what it meant when someone says, 'you never know what you have until it's gone', not really anyway. At least until today…

It's been two weeks since my world shattered and I don't know what to do. I try not to think about that day but inevitably I keep coming back to it. It seemed like a normal summer day, for us anyway. We were fighting someone back to back like we've done hundreds of times before. Funny thing is I don't remember anything about who it was, where we were fighting or why. The only thing I do remember about that day is after my powers were drained so low one of our opponents got the best of me. I was using a shield to stay his blade from piercing my chest but it was failing.

That's when he came, like he has countless times before, to my aid and tackled my attacker to the ground. I was so relieved that I sat for a moment to catch my breath. I wish I had just got back up and continued to fight. If I had, I would have seen that the omnitrix had timed out and he was fighting as a normal human. Instead I watched in stunned horror as six inches of tempered steel erupted from his back. After that I saw a blinding flash of light and heard a wordless scream of rage that might have come from me but I can't be sure.

When my vision finally cleared there was nothing but scorch marks around and I was kneeling on the ground with my cousin's head in my lap pleading for him to be ok. His breathing was shallow and his blood was one massive pool beneath us, but I didn't care. He looked up at me with a smile and said something that I didn't remember until a week later. I watched the life fade from his beautiful, green eyes (just like mine) and couldn't stop myself from embracing his body, screaming for him to not leave me. I heard from grandpa later that they had to forcefully pull him from my grasp and even then I still tried to keep them from taking him away.

The days since then were a complete blur. I know I was in shock. I didn't eat much, didn't talk to anyone except in one or two word answers if I was asked something. My parents, I knew, were worried because I didn't talk about what happened and didn't cry either. I was too numb.

The funeral was two hours ago. I remember thinking it should be raining, not sunny. The weather is supposed to match your mood in situations like this isn't it? There was a preacher who said some words and so did Grandpa Max and his dad. I just stood silently with my parents feeling like I wasn't in control of my body. When they lowered the coffin in the ground and I could see the tombstone, which said:

Benjamin Kirby Tennyson

Beloved son, cousin, friend

That was when the dam broke. Everything I had been holding in came out with his name in one long, anguish filled scream as I collapsed to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. My parents tried to console me but to no avail. I felt someone; I think it was my dad, lift me up and carry me to the car. Tears were still leaking from my eyes when we got to Ben's house and I ran upstairs not wanting to be around anyone.

That's why now I found myself standing outside the closed door to his room just staring at it. Twisting the knob I went in. I hadn't been in here in ages it seemed, not since our 16th birthday two years ago. It was pretty much the way I expected it to be. A little messy but nowhere near as bad as it used to be. He had mementos from our adventures in summers past hanging on the walls or on his dresser. On the night stand was a picture we had taken at a theme park when we were 14. I tearfully chuckled at the sight. He had an enormous blush as my lips were attached to his cheek and I was smirking. "I can't believe he still has this" Sitting on the bed I picked it up just to stare at it for a moment.

Placing it back on the nightstand I went to get up when noticed something under his pillow once the comforter moved. Reaching under the pillow I grabbed what it was. It was lying in my lap and I stared. It was the teddy bear we used to share. Still staring at it I brought it to my face. It still smelled like him. With that and all the memories the bear brought back I collapsed on the bed and wept, the teddy bear clutched tightly to my chest.

A few minutes later the bed moved as someone sat behind me, placing their hand on my back. "Gwen..."

I turned and saw the tear streaked face of Lucy, our distant cousin. Gone was her normally cheery demeanor and in its place was a mask of pain and sorrow I'm sure mirrored my own. I threw my arms around her waist and cried as we shared our misery. "Oh god Lucy… it hurts so much…"

"I know Gwen. I'm going to miss him too…" she was cut off by a sob that left her throat.

I continued to cling to her like a lifeline. "I don't know what to do now. I feel so lost Lucy. W-when he died… part of me died with him," I said in a whisper.

She nodded in understanding, more tears slipping from her eyes. "I can't say I know how you feel Gwen, but I'll be here for you."

After a few minutes I was calm enough to sit and I did but didn't take my arm from around Lucy. We both stared morosely at the teddy bear in my lap. Eventually I found the will to speak despite the sniffles. "He saved my life again. It should have been me in the ground, not my doofus," I said tearfully.

"Gwen, don't say that please! I know Ben just like you do and he wouldn't want you to blame yourself." She was hugging me tighter now and I could only nod in agreement.

"You know the last thing he said to me," I inquired. When Lucy shook her head I looked at her with a ghost of a smile on my lips. "He said, 'at least you're ok. That's all I wanted.' Then he died in my a-arms." I buried my face in Lucy's shoulder unable to stop from sobbing again.

After that we didn't talk at all. The whole time we comforted each other I thought about how I was going to get through this. Then I just got this feeling. It was soothing and warm. It made me feel that everything was going to be ok. Even with all the regrets, all the things left unsaid between me and my doofus; somehow he knew. It felt like he was whispering in my ear that everything would be fine.

Later that night as I lay in bed I swore I heard a whisper saying, 'I'll see you in the next life'. As I drifted to sleep I thought I felt a pair of soft, tender lips right next to mine. "See you in the next life doofus. I love you," I said clutching the teddy bear. There were tears running down my face but my lips formed a tentative smile. At that point… I knew I would get through this. Because Ben was still with me, in my heart.


End file.
